Mormon Mouse here, reporting back on the sequel to my General Conference Reading Project. Since I completed my original project to read every General Conference talk given in my lifetime (1978 – present), I’m now working my way through the years 1971 to 1978. Recently I came across an unusual story by Harold B. Lee that got my attention. He shared it in his April 1973 talk entitled “Stand Ye in Holy Places” as follows:

May I impose upon you for a moment to express appreciation for something that happened to me some time ago, years ago. I was suffering from an ulcer condition that was becoming worse and worse. We had been touring a mission; my wife, Joan, and I were impressed the next morning that we should get home as quickly as possible, although we had planned to stay for some other meetings.

On the way across the country, we were sitting in the forward section of the airplane. Some of our Church members were in the next section. As we approached a certain point en route, someone laid his hand upon my head. I looked up; I could see no one. That happened again before we arrived home, again with the same experience. Who it was, by what means or what medium, I may never know, except I knew that I was receiving a blessing that I came a few hours later to know I needed most desperately.

As soon as we arrived home, my wife very anxiously called the doctor. It was now about 11 o’clock at night. He called me to come to the telephone, and he asked me how I was; and I said, “Well, I am very tired. I think I will be all right.” But shortly thereafter, there came massive hemorrhages which, had they occurred while we were in flight, I wouldn’t be here today talking about it.

I know that there are powers divine that reach out when all other help is not available. We see that manifest down in the countries we speak of as the underprivileged countries where there is little medical aid and perhaps no hospitals. If you want to hear of great miracles among these humble people with simple faith, you will see it among them when they are left to themselves. Yes, I know that there are such powers.

After reading thousands of conference talks, I’ve learned that one of the things I am most drawn to is the miracle-type stories. The kind of stories where there is some kind of supernatural or divine communication or intervention. This is where the rubber meets the road, so to speak. Will the next one I read be the one that rescues me from apostasy, or will it be one more feather in my rational thinking cap? I think I am open to going either way, but I just keep getting more and more feathers in my cap, and this Harold B. Lee story is no exception.

As I was reading President Lee’s story for the first time, I thought it would turn out that one of the Church members on the plane with him had given him a blessing, or at least that they were praying for him. Why else would he mention that other Church members were on the plane with him and his wife Joan? But, strangely, the members end up having nothing to do do with the story. Unless he is implying that it could have been one of them who put their hand on his head, and even if he himself thought that might be the case at first, he makes it pretty clear that it was not a member on the plane who touched his head, as both times it happened he saw no one when he looked up, and he adds, “Who it was, by what means or what medium, I may never know.” And what would be the likelihood of a member of The Church anonymously touching the head of their prophet? And this brings us back to why the members are mentioned at all. Maybe he mentions that they “were in the next section” as a way or showing that it was not one of their hands he felt twice on his head. But if it wasn’t a fellow Church member who touched Harold B. Lee’s head, then who was it?

Well, it was obviously some kind of heavenly messenger, wasn’t it? I mean, what would be the point of this story if no one on the plane touched him and no one from Heaven touched him? And he can’t blame it on Satan because it’s a blessing and it’s a good thing. So who else is there? The Father, Son, or Holy Ghost? If it was one of the big three, I’d like to think President Lee would know so and would say so, because they would have an unmistakable presence. But if it has to be a heavenly messenger (and I think we’re safe to using the term “angel” now, instead), then again I ask, why wouldn’t President Lee just say so? He got a blessing from an angel. There, I said it for him. He was “Touched By an Angel” – just like the TV show.

But why did the angel bless him twice?

Maybe the angel needed to take a couple cracks at it to get it right. Or maybe the angel was interrupted and had to come back later. Perhaps two angel blessings is just better than one. But wait, he’s not implying there was both an anointing and a sealing, is he?

Why does Heaven touch Harold B. Lee not once, but twice on the head during the same airplane flight? Especially when it only gives him enough strength to make it home and begin “massive hemorrhages” that, presumably, nearly kill him? What kind of angel goes to the trouble to part the veil and invisibly place their hand on a human’s head twice, but only blesses them just enough to put off massive, life threatening hemorrhages for a few more hours? If anything it should be the other way around, shouldn’t it? Why can’t the doctors be the ones who help just enough to get President Lee to a priesthood blessing from the healing hand of an angel just in the nick of time? Some might say it could and should be that way, maybe even that God wants it that way, but he just can’t make it that way because of that darn lack of faith amongst the children of men.

There is a certain strain of Mormon Miracle Story in which God provides more of a full-meal miracle rather than just a snack to tide someone over until they get to the doctor. It tends to involve situations where spiritually ignorant or faithless doctors have done all they can for a person, and a worthy priesthood holder steps in and in and uses their power and authority from God to save the day. One example of this would be Henry B. Eyring’s story about healing a girl in New Mexico back when he was a lot younger, as described in the November 06, 2017 LDS Living article titled “When President Eyring Proved Doctors Wrong with a Prayer and a Priesthood Blessing.” Curiously, in President Eyring’s story, he and his companion have to give two blessings to the girl – one to save her from dying, which took several days to come true, and one to save her from being paralyzed, which came true, “slowly, but surely. Two blessings for Harold B. Lee, two blessings from Henry B. Eyring. I wonder if there is any scriptural evidence or support for the power and authority of God needing a double-dip or a do-over once-in-awhile. Maybe The Lord and his servants just prefer more of a belt and suspenders approach sometimes.

This speaks to a concept I’ve been struggling with for years now as I’ve continued deconstructing my childhood faith in The Church. Ever since I started to realize that all things divine have another side to them which the faithful seem to be ignoring, whenever I hear a story of divine intervention I can’t help but wonder why God, if he’s all he’s cracked up to be, doesn’t do a more thorough and distinctive job of helping his children. If he is a personal, embodied God who is all-powerful, all-knowing, all-good – basically the best at everything – then why isn’t his brand so distinctive that everybody knows it’s Him for sure? In other words, I don’t know it’s Him in this story (or in the Henry B. Eyring story), and I’ll bet I’m not the only one.

I actually believe President Lee is telling the truth about his experience, and that he did in fact feel a heavenly hand on his head, even if he is unwilling to explicitly say so. But I am only willing to grant this truth to him and him alone. It was an entirely subjective experience – it happened, but it only happened to him. From my own subjective point of view, I don’t believe it actually occurred, at least not in our shared objective reality, and that is the only space we can occupy with other conscious subjects. The hand on the head of Harold B. Lee was not really there inside of the airplane, except for in the space occupied by the mind of Harold B. Lee, and it’s also there in the space occupied by every other mind that hears President Lee’s story and believes that it too could feel the touch of an invisible hand.