It’s Now and Never

It’s Now and Never

The one not satisfied now,
Is the one not satisfied ever,
For the time that is not now
Is the time that will be never.

Everything happens now,
Nothing happens later,
And the difference between those times
Is as real as the equator.

So you can make your future plans,
But to bring them to fruition,
Now and never later
Is when you press ignition.

Now is when you do all the things you do—
There is no later time to say
“I should have done that then,”
For every time that time arrives,
It is always now again.

—Saint Andrew of Snohomish

The Weather Today

The Weather Today
What’s the weather like today? 
From where I am I’d have to say,
That I couldn’t say if I wasn’t me, 
So if I couldn’t say, I couldn’t be, 
And if I couldn’t be and couldn’t say,
The weather couldn’t be some way— 
It might still be some way to you, 
But that would be a way you do, 
And if I’m not here I couldn’t say 
A thing about the weather today. 

Perhaps the weather’s cold and damp, 
Or perhaps the sun is like a lamp— 
A heat lamp that’s turned up too hot— 
But whatever weather is or not, 
Another’s presence makes it be. 
Any other thing will do—you or me,
A fish or bird, a rock or tree— 
For weather never is a thing 
Which alone remains a certain way, 
But an ever-changing process 
That is never not at play. 

What else is there in this world, 
But never-ending process 
Into shapely patterns swirled? 
When it’s us we say, “that’s me,” 
When it’s outside it’s the weather— 
They may seem different as can be, 
And we may not see their tether, 
But different things can be the same 
If they always go together. 

—Saint Andrew of Snohomish

The You-ing of Doing

The You-ing of Doing
Do you precede do,
Or does do precede you?
Or are they just sides of the same?
The answer depends on your own point of view
In your doing of life’s living game.

I think if you’re first 
You’d do less of your worst
And more of your best without fail,
And remember just how you started your trip
On your personal consciousness trail. 

But if you come after the doing,
You have what you need for a you-ing—
To get self-aware there must be something there, 
For a self-sense to begin accruing.

Do you really do,
Or does doing do you?
Or is that the same by two names?
Are there nouns without verbs or verbs without nouns
In the doing of life’s living games?

—Saint Andrew of Snohomish

Here and Gone

Here and Gone
You may choose whatever paths you will
As you travel up and down life’s hills,
But between the time you’re here and gone,
You cannot depart from the path you’re on.

For every change in your chosen way,
There will never be a time to say
That you are not on the path you’re on—
If there were you would be not here, but gone.

And when you’re gone after you’ve been here,
You are not so far away, but near.
Although you’re gone, you are never there.
When you are not here, you’re not anywhere.

Perhaps nowhere is the same as here—
There is no distance between the two, 
But nowhere is so pure and clear,
When you look at it you see right through. 

—Saint Andrew of Snohomish

I in the Sky

I in the Sky
There is a body projecting you,
that is the one doing the things that you do,
and this body called yours can know through and through,
but can’t know what it knows, so for that it has You.
For that it has I, to be more precise.
But who is this I that thinks that it is
the one who does all of the work,
taking credit for things that it does not do,
like a know-it-all ball-hogging jerk?

This I is a network of thoughts that are thunk 
with the body from whence they came,
a network that changes like everything else
but tends to think that it’s the same.
And all of the thoughts that it thinks of itself
are hash-tagged with I, me, and mine,
including the thought of a thinker of thoughts
which thinks it thinks all by design.

But what are thoughts really, and do they exist?
They do, but they are not real.
Like rainbows appear out of shimmering mist,
they color the sky of the mind.
But without the sun the rainbows aren’t there,
and without the moisture that moves through the air,
and without the observer there’s nothing to find,
no colors, no thoughts, an I of no-kind.

Thoughts are reflections of what is out there,
and what it feels like from inside I’s lair—
an inside and outside contrast and compare, 
made up of the game of there-and-not-there.
Neurons fire up or stay powered down,
as reaction-reflection to what is around,
patterning patterns of senses we’ve found
to help us rise off of the ground.

And if you know all of this, can you hope,
to fix mistakes you think that you make?
Or will you just bind yourself up with a rope
that seems real but really is fake?
Whatever you do will be what you do,
and done by the body projecting you,
which is the one watching “I,” its reflection—
the great “I” which rises in every which way,
in endless waves of resurrection.

—Saint Andrew of Snohomish

More or Less Blessed

More or Less Blessed
Is it really more blessed to give than receive?
Jesus thought so, so that’s fine to believe.
But the problem with that, if you ask me,
is it makes giving something we should all try to get,
And getting a thing about which to fret.
It forces spontaneous virtue to be,
and makes Heaven a place that just isn’t free.

The thing about giving that nobody notes
(perhaps they are too busy looking for motes),
is although it is great to give things away 
(so great you should try to give things each day),
there’s no way to get this giving to do,
without someone there to receive it from you.

You can’t be more blessed 
(And someone blessed less),
without someone to take what you’re giving,
so if it wasn’t for them, you could get no gem, 
no pearl of great price for good living.

Givers and Getters, neither is better,
if you have to have both for the blessing.
So they both can be great, and share the same fate,
or else who will you give to in Heaven?

—Saint Andrew of Snohomish

If I Ask Him

If I Ask Him
If I ask God if He’s there,
and He doesn’t say a word,
should I take that as a sign
or assume I wasn’t heard?

If I ask Him if He’s there
and he answers He is not,
should I trust that He is right
or suspect that He forgot?

If I ask God where He is
and He answers “Here am I,”
Did that answer come from me
or am I just a crazy guy?

What if I don’t ask a thing
and I never think of Him,
and he never hits me up
or calls me on a whim?

Does it mean that He’s not there?
Does it mean He doesn’t care?
Or that He’ll get to me eventually
When He finds a moment to spare?

No matter what I ask
or what His answer be,
one thing seems the same
in this ask-and-answer game—
I can ask things without Him,
but He doesn’t answer without Me.

—Saint Andrew of Snohomish

Without Jesus

Without Jesus
No me without Jesus,
no Jesus without me—
if I never sinned He never could be,
but that would make sinning a good thing if He
is good, and is good for the sin side of me—
No me without Jesus,
No Jesus without me.

I see without Jesus,
without Jesus I see—
if I see without Jesus then how can He be
the one I was taught that we nailed to a tree,
without whom I finally see and am free,
of the feeling there’s some other way I should be—
I see without Jesus,
without Jesus I see.

I’m free without Jesus,
without Jesus I’m free—
if I never sinned He never could be,
if I never sinned then I would be free,
if He never sinned than neither did We—
we’re free without Jesus,
without Jesus we’re free. 

—Saint Andrew of Snohomish

Wiggly World

Wiggly World (for Alan Watts)
The wiggly world is all there is 
when no one is around,
While straight lines always show us where
the humans can be found.

Reality is never straight,
never measured, never late,
always perfect, never wrong,
not too short and not too long,
but ever waving onward in a never-ending song.

Straightening is made up fuss,
that just may be the end of us,
because the real, wiggly world
on which we put straight lines,
always overgrows them if we give it enough time.

And straightening is never just
a thing we do out there,
it also is a thing we do in kingdoms of thin air—
imaginary kingdoms where we only think and feel,
and symbolically confuse ourselves
as to what is really real.

How funny that we wiggle while
We try to straighten things,
forgetting that we too are part of what the Real sings—
It sings the Whole without mistakes 
And never sings things wrong,
It creates us, we create It,
Both the Singer and the Song.

Concept of You

Concept of You
What is a concept,
And what does it do?
What is a concept?
A concept is you.
For you cannot conceive
Yourself without it,
So there really is 
No doubt about it.

You’re a concept,
An Idea,
An Abstraction too,
And You is your symbol 
For doing by who.
You is a hashtag,
For all that you care
To attribute to one 
Who’s not really there,
Who seems to live inside
A skull that grows hair,
But when we look inside skulls
We find nobody there.

Concepts, ideas,
Abstractions, oh my—
Symbolic thinking
That helps you get by,
In this game full of symbols
We made to get high,
That we’re forced when we’re born
To play till we die—
Concepts, ideas
Abstractions, oh my.

If you were not a concept
Then you still could not think,
Of yourself without concepts,
You could not make that link.
And while it’s true that
There’s much more to you than your thinks,
The rest of you smells
But doesn’t know if it stinks,
As stinks is a thing
Only concepts can think.

Concepts, ideas,
Abstractions, oh my—
If you are what you think,
This would explain why,
It’s so easy to be terrified when you die.
For thoughts cannot go on with thinking at all,
If the body they think from can’t rise from its fall.
The body won’t mind if it’s time to stay down,
Alone it can’t know if it won’t be around,
But the concept it has of itself, You and I, 
Will keep on conceiving right up till we die,
Right up to the end of its walk toward the light,
Or the end of its darkening descent into night,
But neither the light nor the night’s really right—
Conceptions conceive until their own fall,
Because they cannot conceive no conception at all.